Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Cracking the Case

A subject has been ruminating in my head for a couple of days now. Since Mother's Day in fact. I had thought I would just keep my turmoil and thoughts to myself until today, I happened upon somebody's Facebook status admitting that she has mixed emotions about Mother's Day. A big shout out to Hilary for liberating me and all those jumbled up thoughts in my head! That's exactly it. I have mixed emotions about Mother's Day.

I'm a good old sport and think it's a cute and well-intentioned holiday and definitely a time to appreciate the mothers in our lives. I don't want to downplay that at all. Moms are a big deal. And let's face it, they are severely underappreciated.

My mixed emotions include the expectations surrounding the day. At the risk of sounding like a martyr, my Mother's Day was all about being a mother and doing all the work that goes along with it. I didn't get a break. I didn't get to call my mom or spend the day with her.

Here's what I did get:
  1. A sweet little breakfast made by Sarah. Minutes later, the group demanded I return the favor by giving them breakfast.
  2. The chance to touch each child at the same time during Sacrament Meeting. With two on my lap, including almost 11-year old Ben on the left knee, Grace on the right knee, Emma hooking elbows while scratching my elbow on the left side and Sarah with her head leaning on my right shoulder.
  3. The Christ-like service of the family in front of us at church who split up their group to help occupy my little peeps who were not feeling inspired to behave on Mother's Day.
  4. The chance to sing a beautiful arrangement of Love One Another with the ward choir. It was so touching, especially during the practice that I was afraid everyone was going to notice that I was near bawling. That would have been embarassing. I just couldn't look at the sweet little lady in the front row with Alzheimer's because it just brought back way too many memories.
  5. Heard a great lesson in Relief Society about persecution whilst Grace was happily in nursery.
  6. An instant message conversation with Scott. His texted wishes were heartfelt.
  7. A great nap. It was heaven and gave me all the energy to get through the rest of the day.
  8. A Sunday stroll with everyone risking being looked down upon by the occasional person for doing such scandalous things on the Sabbath. GASP! I even let the kids ride their bikes.
  9. An opportunity to apologize when I got totally frustrated with one of the kids.
  10. Got a headstart on that blasted 4th grade county report.
The thing is, I didn't expect anything different. It was all good. Do mothers really feel that much better on Mother's Day? Is that all we need? I'm not going to buy that bill of goods. Mother's Day for many can be a day of sadness. It can be about loss, unfulfilled desires, feeling inadequate, disappointment... My good thoughts and wishes go to those who don't talk about that side of it.

Now for some feel good stuff....

Here's Sarah, my personal chef with her gourmet meal. She can cook eggs like nobody's business. Even does only egg whites for her big bro. I asked her, "how did you know how to separate them?" She answered, "I just watched you." The cleverest child. Watching her mother on any cooking task is risky.

The newest Mama horse we know. Cousin Amy's half arabian / half shire horse had a baby a couple of weeks ago. Grace was not afraid of feeding this big girl.

Happy Mother's Day to Peggy, the horse. With all that grass my kids were feeding her, she should be back to her pre-pregnancy weight in no time.

And of course, the bouncing baby boy whose name is coincidentally, Ben.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Don't Fence Me In

As is obvious, I haven't written a blog entry in forever. I can't totally explain why except for maybe my paralysis from censorship. It's a plague on Facebook, too. I have to be so careful what I write that it stunts my creativity. My sarcastic side can get me into a bit of trouble. I am even on a blog commenting diet because I felt like I was getting into trouble all the time. Only people who really know me, get me. Since Jams & Jellies has always really been Scott's baby, I may just hand over the reigns to him forever. Who knows, maybe I'll start another blog of my very own and truly not care what anyone thinks. It would be for the not-so-faint of heart because let's face it, I feel things pretty deeply and sometimes that's just not so pretty. We'll see.

Oh wait, getting too philosophical, this is the feel good blog still. Okay. Here are some random happenings from the last bit. (I'm on Scott's Macbook--isn't he nice to share with me while he is parading around Ghana? Let me see if I can figure out how to upload a photo...)

Sarah had a birthday. Here she is with the cutest birthday cake I've ever seen made by her Aunt Susie and cousin Anna, cake bakers/decorators extraordinaire! This is beginning to be a Utah tradition I can stand by! (This fab duo made Grace's 1st birthday cake. Here's to hoping they are available for our two birthdays coming up the end of May.)

And Sarah was baptized.

I must pause and share a quick story about Sarah. Last week, she gave a talk in primary and the subject happened to be baptism (how timely). I, as usual, wrote the talk but she didn't have a chance to go through it before her time to give it. She 'sightread' it as we say in the music world. I thought it would be nice if she quoted a verse of a baptism-themed primary song. So, on Sarah's paper it said, "In closing, I would like to quote a verse from the song, 'I Want to be Baptized.'" She looked up at me, had a strange look on her face and then SANG the verse! She didn't know what the word "quote" meant. The brave little soul broke out into an acapella rendition of the song to be obedient to what I wrote. It was just about the sweetest thing I've ever seen. I felt a little bad about the communication breakdown but it all worked out fine.

Grace has been up to her usual antics.

Let's give credit where credit is due. She had a cohort in crime.

And it's been Pinewood Derby time around here.

I was a solo parent on this one and as a bit of background, I don't do well with this event when both parents are around. I was a little stressed but it had a happy ending.

I've been playing with a new camera lens. Just a little indulgence in trying to survive while Scott's away.

And a little action shot: Grace saying her new word "go?". She says this whenever I ask her where something is. It makes me chuckle every time she does it.

That's it in a nutshell. The only big project looming before Scott's return is my 4th grade county report. Wait, did I say "MY"? Oh excuse me...that would be BEN'S county report. Of course, he will be doing every last word of it. Now, if I could just find my coloring crayons...