10 Tips From a Harried Homemaker

Here's a little diddy I submitted for a ward RS book. Thought it was bloggable so here it is...

• When trying to measure up to the in-laws as a newlywed, offer something you know how to do well to help with the Thanksgiving meal like filling the glasses with ice. This will prevent the “deer-in-the-headlights” look of panic when you are asked to mash the potatoes.



• At the beginning of the year, buy only belated birthday cards and send them at the end of each month to family and friends.
  



• Keep your house messy so that on the occasion it is clean when someone stops by, they will be pleasantly surprised.
  



• Don’t overmix salad dressing in the blender, unless you are trying to make your own mayonnaise.
  



• Whoever scrapbooks gets to re-write family history from her own favorable viewpoint.
  



• The best way to look thinner in a photo is to learn how to use Photoshop.
  



• Don’t forget to turn the car engine off, take the keys out of the ignition and lock the doors before you go into a doctor’s appointment.
  



• Don’t say anything to your husband when you realize he spends time every night rearranging the dishwasher before turning it on. Go ahead and continue to load it in a most inefficient manner and be grateful that he is so helpful in the kitchen.
  



• Always make sure you have your driver’s license with you if you’re speeding down a residential street on the way to school pick-up and your kids have gotten out of their carseats. When you tell your husband about the incident, be positive. Tell him the police officer was really nice and only ticketed you for just one of your infractions.
  



• When your daughter sprinkles cocoa all over her bedroom, scold her firmly but with kindness and then get your camera and photograph it because someday it really will be funny. This is highly recommended for any garden variety messes that take place.

P.S. Note the chin removal...still perfecting that art.